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Hey wonderful people, I hope you’re all doing so well today.
We are inside of our heads all the time and in the midst of a pandemic there isn’t too much to get us out of it. Our inner monologue is so important to our mental health and confidence. You’re brain internalizes even offhand comments. For example, how often do we tell ourselves “I’m so dumb” or “I can’t do/wear/be” or “I’m so fat”. This needs to stop. Would you say that to a friend or coworker? It is so important to start being our own best friend. To start speaking positively and kindly to ourselves. It slowly changes how we perceive ourselves and the world around us.
I’ve started romanticizing my life. If I have some good hot chocolate “This is the best hot chocolate I’ve ever had”. I make a point to say out loud the positives of what I’m doing and what is happening around me. If you see someone with a nice shirt or did something cool, make sure to acknowledge it. It makes your day and their day better. It’s not going to change everything in your life all at once. However, it will start to build a better foundation for great days and overall confidence.
The next thing I started doing was appreciating things about myself. I started with listing things I like about my personality. At first I wasn’t so sure about what there was to like but it turns out there’s a lot! For example:
I go out of my way to help others, in arguments I like to understand and be educated on the other side before I make a judgement, I work really hard, I like to seek out knowledge
I also listed traits I wanted to be associated with aka what kind of person I wanted to be. I asked myself what people do to be known for that trait and then I started doing it until it became a normal part of my routine. What have you done that you’re proud of? For me I hated both high school and college. Don’t get me wrong, I love to learn, this just wasn’t the right setting for me. I graduated from both and even though I might not take the same paths if I had a redo, I am so proud of myself for overcoming the hardships and completing them. These are big things but your list doesn’t need to include big things. When I was sick I was proud of myself when I took a shower that day. The goal is to tell yourself the things you are proud of and then decide other things that would make you proud in the future. Goal setting is so important!
Be gentle with yourself, we’re all trying to figure out how to be decent humans together. A little compassion with yourself and others goes a long way.